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| On Dining Well - Gain Confidence at The Table |
| By Mary Mitchell |
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What could be better than sharing good food in good company?
Knowing the unspoken prejudice against those who don’t handle themselves skillfully at table, perhaps the only thing better is being confident of your table etiquette. Here are some key points that will serve you well, whether you’re at The Ritz or Mickey Dee’s. |
| Cutlery |
Don’t hold your fork like a cello or your knife like Lady Macbeth’s dagger. Also, don’t wave your cutlery triumphantly in the air to emphasize a point and don’t put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate.
After you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate. Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate. And yes, your mother was right. Work from the outside in if you’re not sure what utensil to use. |
| Napkins |
Don’t blot or rub the lower half of your face. Dab delicately.
Don’t flap your napkin to unfold it and don’t wave it around like a flag. It belongs unfolded on your lap. If you leave the table, place your napkin on the chair and push the chair back under the table. Gently. Watch the upholstery.
Don’t refold your napkin at the end of the meal because an unknowing server might give it to another diner. Pick up the napkin from the center and place it loosely on the table to the left of your plate. |
| Chewing |
Never chew with your mouth open. Also, no matter how urgently you want to inject the perfect kernel of wit and wisdom at just the right moment, don’t do it with food in your mouth.
And don’t gulp and blurt. Finish chewing, swallow, and smile philosophically, content in the knowledge that you could have said just the right thing, but had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
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| Appearance |
| Remember what your mother said: Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table. If you have any doubt about where your hands belong, put them in your lap. |
| Breaking Bread |
| Here is a real bread-and-butter tip. Tear bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it. Don’t butter the entire slice of bread or the entire roll to get it ready for occasional bites during the course of the meal. |
| Speed |
Take it easy. Whether you’re at The Ritz or Gertie’s Grease Pit, gulping down food is not only unhealthy but also unattractive, and it can cross the line into rudeness when dining with others.
Dining partners should have the same number of courses and start and finish each one at about the same time. Don’t be handing over your soup while others are salivating for dessert or vice-versa. |
| Don’t Pick! |
| If you have something trapped between your teeth, don’t pick at it while you are at the table. If it’s really driving you nuts, excuse yourself, go to the restroom, and pick to your heart’s content. |
| Lipstick Etiquette |
| Leaving behind a trail of lipstick on stemware and flatware is bad form, especially at a business meal. If you apply lipstick in the restaurant (which I personally find pretty tacky) and don’t have a blotting tissue with you, make a detour to the restroom or nab a cocktail napkin from the bar on your way to the table. |
| Smoking |
Even if you’re sitting in the smoking section of the restaurant, you should never light up between courses. It affects your dining partners’ taste buds and is a jarring note during any meal.
Wait until the meal is over and, even then, ask if anyone minds if you smoke. If anyone does object, offer to wait or to smoke at the bar. And please, never use a plate as an ashtray. |
| Purses and Briefcases |
| Keep purses and briefcases off the table. And this rule goes for keys, hats, gloves, eyeglasses, eyeglass cases, wallets, cigarette packs and cell phones. In short, if it isn’t part of the meal, it shouldn’t be on the table.
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| Don’t Panic! |
Having spent so much time dwelling on potential mistakes, it is important to point out that nothing as diverse as dining with a number of other people will ever be achieved with perfect serenity.
Things go wrong, and when they do, do your best to react calmly and, if possible, cheerfully. |
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